I Rarely Land (2016)

 Written April 6, 2016

 

Are my thoughts mine?

How can you tell when so many seem to have been thought about before?

Like a chameleon, I am impacted by people I'm around, their thoughts, attitude, even behavior.

But if the choice of being around these people is mine, are my thoughts their thoughts too?

Or thoughts for which I aspire?

I forgot how to think, I tell Lina over and over again.

Thinking out loud with Ali was what I did for 13 years.

He quenched my hungry questioning – or provoked thoughts or arguments – all the time.

Everything needs to be discussed, probed, dissected, clarified before reaching a decision, I told Kalfat in anger.

It's wrong not to, I insist.

And even this is a discussion.

I rarely land. I hover around thoughts.

Nothing is definite.

Death is definite.

I forgot how to think.

I forgot how to think.